What's Up With That?

by Tom Kuzeja - June 11, 1999

What's Up With That?

One Stinky Topic

Ladies and gentlemen, sadly I feel that I must address an issue so basic and fundamental to each of us that it is an embarrassment to me to even be bringing it up. I will do my best to discuss this topic tactfully and tastefully but this may be difficult. What has me steaming? Bathroom etiquette.

Let me just cut to the chase here. It seems obvious to me that the condition of a bathroom should not drastically deteriorate after someone's personal usage of the facility. Translation: if you're gonna take a dump, flush the stupid toilet after you finish! For that matter, no matter what you've just done in that stall, flush the damn thing. I don't care if all you were doing was just sitting there thinking about the exciting new sport utility vehicles proposed for the 2000 calendar year, flush the damn thing anyway.

And, if you feel that the volume of the material which you will be leaving behind will perhaps far exceed the capability of the plumbing to which the receiving portal is connected, then take preventative action. Translation: if you are taking such a HUGE dump that the damn toilet might clog up and overflow, why not flush midstream a few times?! I know we're trying to conserve water and all that but I think even our childrens' children wouldn't mind a few extra flushes now and then.

There is nothing like walking into a shared facility and seeing a "logjam" that has been festering there for some time. There's no excuse for it. Flush every 10 seconds if you have to.

I would be mortified to leave any kind of "paper trail" behind me after I use a facility yet people saunter in, drop 'em, blast away, then walk out... no flush! ... no hand washing! Disgusting. My sources tell me that this is not purely a male thing, that the better half has its share of dump and runners. Gross.

For the love of God people, do what a four year old knows how to do. Flush, wash and MOVE ON. I and many other toilet law abiding citizens will be forever grateful!

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