I was out shopping at the mall.   Okay, I was out walking from store to store without buying anything at the mall.   Jeez, you people are sticklers for detail.  No, I didn't see Jill's picture at the J.C. Penney studio...they've taken it down so I never got to see it on display.   But I digress.

So I'm strolling about when I see them...those wacky kids at the mall.  They're wearing bell bottoms.  What's Up With That?  You know, I couldn't wait to grow up so that I could stop wearing bell bottoms and those wacky kids at the mall are actually paying big bucks to slip into those things.

They're also smoking cigarettes.  This was too much.  Bell bottoms and cigarettes.  Those kids sure are wacky.

I figured I'd do a little sociology study on them.  I was like Jane Goodall and the chimps.  I slowly approached those wacky kids at the mall.   I didn't make any sudden moves.  Soon, they accepted me.  I could tell this because they offered me a smoke.

"Hey you wacky kids, I don't smoke" I replied.   "I know you think that's probably square."  Well, maybe they didn't, but the motion I made tracing a square in the air with my index fingers certainly pegged me as a nerd.

"Wacky kids, can I ask you a couple of questions?"   Those wacky kids just smirked and one of them eventually answered, "sure, man."

"Wacky kids..." I started, (it is always polite to address those wacky kids at the mall by their given stereotypical name, "wacky kids"), don't you think it would be real helpful if you all took half of that baggy fabric you're wearing and created some clothing for the small New England town of Boston?"

I got that wacky kids at the mall (or WKATM) smirky stare.  It came right before I got the wacky kids at the mall ass kicking.

I learned an important lesson that night.  Being a kid is tough.  It's tough under the best of circumstances never mind growing up with some sort of abuse or neglect or what have you.  But I digress.  The lesson I leaned is that those wacky kids at the mall sure can bust off some quick kicks to the groin.