What's Up With That?

by Tom Kuzeja - September 16, 1999

What's Up With That?

Recalling Old Times

I was driving to work the other morning and my mind started to wander. I couldn't help but think back to the first time I, you know... the first time I did it. Man was I young! And scared! Holy smokes. Even though I tried to mentally prepare for it, I had no idea what to expect.

I remember the day clearly. I got up really early and had a big breakfast. I wanted to make sure I could last the day. I didn't really have any concept of how long it would last. How could I? I had never done it before. I tried to read up on it. I did whatever reading I could do. Let's face it... it was mostly just looking at pictures. I tried to talk to other kids who had done it already. That wasn't really any comfort. They all said "Aw, you'll be fine. It'll be over before you know it." Why was I getting so worked up?

I packed a lunch. I had heard that half way through it you'd want to take a break and grab a bite to eat so I was ready for that. Still, I was so nervous. What if I did it wrong? Would I be laughed at and humiliated? I really didn't want all the other kids to laugh and point at me. Would I be able to fall asleep? What if I wanted to quit in the middle of it and go home? Cripes, I was only five years old! I couldn't believe that my parents were making me do it. Hell, they wanted to take pictures of the whole thing and make a big deal out of it. Hey, I guess I didn't get much privacy way back then.

Yeah, I remember my first time. Damn, I miss my days in kindergarten!

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