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High Paid Consultant
Winner of the 1996 Avid Video Contest
Updated: 4-DEC-2001
Okay, fast forward a couple years to 1996 and the Avid Employee Video Contest. Morale at the company wasn't doing very well. Scott Glorioso had a different plan of attack for the video he planned on entering into the contest: hit on as many issues of internal politics as possible in order to get mass acceptance of the video. Combine that approach with an effort to get as many Avid employees on camera as possible and we thought we'd have a good chance of doing well.
The Script
As usual, production began with the framing of the script. This is always an interesting process. Since all the creative entities are scattered geographically, we never seem to be in the room at the same time. Think of the script as a sculpture that gets passed off from artist to artist. Suggestions are made, some accepted, some rejected until the script approaches a "shootable" form. Scott always puts in the extra effort to try and block out a shooting schedule, a list of shots, what props we needs, locations, etc. With lots of help from Lesley, it all comes together.
As much as I enjoy acting, I also enjoy the script writing effort. I have to admit, my tendencies are toward more basic humor like slapstick gags, bathroom humor, etc. Not all that high brow but most of the time it works. I personally love the Ex-lax bit in this one.
Who Is This Curt Keshian Guy Anyway?
Lots of people ask "Who the hell is Curt Keshian anyway?" Since the name isn't "Bob Smith" or "Ted Jones" people tend to think "he's" real. It turns out that the name is a combination of two real names, former Avid executives who departed in the 1996 year. We took a first name and last name and smooshed them together. The alliteration didn't hurt either.
The Suit
The most frequently asked question is "Where did you get that suit?" I believe that the beautiful plaid suit that Curt Keshian wears was in style in the late 70's, early 80's. I got it from my sister-in-law Debbie's husband, Jim who actually wore the suit on his honeymoon. Whether or not he got lucky in it is another story. If I could, I'd order 2 or 3 suits to have on the side as the one suit I have is starting to show some wear... slapstick is rough on Dacron you know.
Shooting the Video
I can only relate my experience regarding the video shoot. I had a blast! It was a little weird walking outside the Avid facility in a strange plaid suit, red, white and blue argyle socks and saddle shoes, especially with Avid security and a handful of weekend workers watching the proceedings. Oh well, that's showbiz. It's interesting how once the camera is rolling, I push aside my tendency to be embarrassed and go all out. I figure if I'm going to look like a jerk, I might as well get some laughs. Half-assed performances don't cut it.
Shooting inside was just as fun and I think I got a little taste of what actors in the big leagues go through on the set. Scott would take time to set up the cameras for each shot, working the lighting (what we had of it) and rough it all out before calling me in front of the cameras. There wasn't much that I could do so I sat in someone's office and read some magazines. I guess it was my version of "being in my trailer".
Most of what you see is ad-libbed dialog of a scripted outline. When we get going, there are some lines we definitely want to say but it's a fairly loose environment. I like being able to shoot 6 or 7 takes of a gag and come up with different things each time. On more than one occasion, the last take has proved to be an all out outrageous winner. But with a time limit of 5 minutes for the video, all that extra stuff never gets seen. Hopefully I can post some of the outtakes sometimes soon.
Inside Jokes FAQ
Okay, let's see if I can answer some of those questions about the inside jokes aimed at the Avid employees.
| Q: | Why is Curt Keshian a "High Paid Consultant"? |
| A: | In today's corporate world, most management staff have a difficult time admitting that their unique styles of leadership often lead a company down the path to ruin. So instead of facing the music, it's not unusual for a consulting firm or individual consultant to be hired with the charter of determining what exactly is wrong with the company. Usually these consultants do little more than conduct interviews, come up with a few new ridiculous policies, publish a report that states the obvious and leave with a few suitcases stuffed with cash. Curt Keshian is a similar sort of consultant. Nothing much to add, not all that competent but ready to take your money. |
| Q: | Where did you come up with the Apollo 13 Conference Room to fit the opening somber tone? |
| A: | Conference rooms at Avid are named after films that were edited with Avid equipment. The Apollo 13 Conference Room happened to be on the first floor near the entrance where we shot lots of footage. The name tag combined with the "Daily Exit Interview Schedule" just happened to fit the tone of the video perfectly. |
| Q: | What's ISO? |
| A: | ISO stands for International Standards Organization. The 2 inch thick quick reference guide thrown by Curt ("I wrote the book on ISO") is a gag aimed at the groups who had to deal with ISO compliance policies and procedures. Later on Steve Miu holds up his first class plane tickets to the monthly ISO conference in Iceland. At that point in 1996, lots of the employee body didn't have high regard for the ISO "enforcement" team. |
| Q: | Wha'ts SAP? |
| A: | SAP is a suite of software used to manage assets, inventory, etc. My understanding is that has a confusing instruction set featuring commands that seemingly all start with the letter 'Z'. Not many people at Avid were fond of using it. The gag with the Mac Plus computer is supposed to highlight the slowness of the SAP server. |
| Q: | Would you like a new disk drive? |
| A: | Apparently the customer support center was getting beat up for a couple reasons... their call response time was slow and they were dealing with issues on a specific hard drive with flaky firmware. The mantra of "would you like a new disk drive" was a jab at the replacement of drives in the field with new ones. |
| Q: | What's with the port to NT? |
| A: | Apple decided to port the Media composer from the Apple platform to Windows NT. Software typically isn't ported easily from one operating system to another but with the media composer, the port meant developing new hardware as well. Management types usually don't like to hear how much time it will take to do something; they'd rather here how the team is making progress toward a date that they pick. The port to NT was a thorn in many an engineer's side. Curt Keshian's solution would have been a welcome one. |
| Q: | What is the Reber Snack Bar? |
| A: | The Reber Snack Bar is an employee run honor-system snack bar. It was created by Steve Reber, one of the founding Avid employees. It went away for awhile which bummed a lot of people out. But now it's back! |
| Q: | What's the deal with Victoria's Secret? |
| A: | We were shooting the ending at Scott's house and there were a number of magazines on the coffee table. I personally think it's easier to ad-lib gags with a Victoria's Secret catalog in my hand than it would be with a Stereo Review magazine. Besides, the pictures are better to look at between takes, too. |