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Commentary by Tom Kuzeja
October 8, 2001 |
The "j" is Hard
Well hello everyone. It's me your ever faithful and somewhat tardy WUWT columnist. Hey, I honestly have been trying to figure out what to write all year. It's been a hectic one for yours truly; I'm in yet another job, this one doing stuff involved with security again including good ole facial recognition technology... a technology that, sadly enough, is in high demand these days.
Without restating the obvious in any kind of detail, I, like a great deal of my fellow Americans, find myself in sort of a dull numbing depression, wanting to forget what happened and afraid that to some extent I'll succeed.
It was during yet another day of automated existence that I received a very uplifting and inspiring telephone call.
| Me: |
Yello. |
|
| Caller: | Yes, is Mr. Tom Kuzeja there please? | |
| Me: | This is he. | |
| Caller: | Oh good! Hello Mr. Kuzeja... am I pronouncing it correctly? I understand that the "j" is hard, baby. (chuckles) | |
| Me: | Yes, that's correct. Um... who is this anyway? | |
| Caller: | Oh I'm sorry... this is Mayor Rudy Giuliani... from New York City. I'm calling because we need you to get back to doing what you do best! | |
| Me: |
You need me to whine and complain? | |
| Rudy: | No... | |
| Me: | Bitch and moan? | |
| Rudy: | No. | |
| Me: | You need me to talk for hours on end? | |
| Rudy: | Not quite. | |
| (pause) | ||
| Me: | Um... oh Sir, if you need me to make another one of those films? Sir... I can explain those... It was a long time ago and all those girls said it was for a sorority prank and... |  |
| Rudy: | No, Tom. I... This country needs you to get back to your web column. We all need to get back to living our lives as we had been living them. | |
| Me: | But for me that means ignoring my column and not writing anything. Are you sure you're not looking for my brother, your Honor? | |
| Rudy: | No... I've seen his stuff... It makes my brain convulse. We need your simple and almost humorous outlook on life... | |
| Me: | But why me, your Graciousness? I'm not even a New Yorker... Why call me directly? | |
| Rudy: | Ah... Well our research shows us that you have a following in New York. | |
| Me: | Get out! | |
| Rudy: | That's right... In fact 30% of your readership. | |
| Me: | Whoa! | |
| Rudy: | And while one person claims to have only visited your site by mistake, the other two said they visited there on purpose! | |
| Me: | I'm speechless. I never imagined. | |
| Rudy: | Yes sir. So, I ask, nay... I implore you to get back at it. Write man. Write like the wind. | |
| Me: | Wow! Mr. Mayor, Sir. I will. I will write, Sir! Till the lead in that mechanical pencil I took from one of my former employers runs out, I will write like I have never written before. I will be faithful to my readers! I will stay current! I will... | |
[click]
Hey, the Mayor is a busy guy. And while I have no idea what the hell he meant, here I am. I just hope the wind that I'm writing like, isn't a passing one.
