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Commentary by Tom Kuzeja
October 27, 2001 |
Conducting Experiments
Did you know that I'm published? That's right. I was part of a collection of works published together and distributed nationwide. And no, it wasn't some letter to the editor (I never believed this sort of thing really happened until it happened to me...) I even received a residual check for my efforts.
OK, so my contribution was only a board game included in a book published by the kids' show ZOOM about 30 years ago but I did get paid and I was able to go to a bookstore, take it off the shelf, open to page 99 and see my name and my game. Pretty cool.
I happened to catch some of the current running of ZOOM on PBS the other day. I saw a segment having to do with conducting experiments and it got me reminiscing. I remember doing things like that when I was a kid. Big bro Jim did too but usually our experiments were radically different.
Typical ingredients in my experiments were rocks, dirt, water and mixing bowls whereas Jim's included a variety of chemicals, a flame of some sort (usually a blow torch) and flasks, test tubes and crucibles.
While I was trying to determine if mud created in warm water held together then mud created in cold water, Jim was creating his own rocket fuel and rockets. I made a nice pile of mud and he launched home made missiles into the air. Not to be outdone, I wondered how many bees tossing a rock into a huge hornets nest would produce. Four lobs later I found out. Lots. And I also discovered how much my face could swell up from a single sting on the lip. Jim meanwhile was busy working on a thermite bomb.
| Tom: | "Jim whatcha working on?" |
| Jim: | "A thermite bomb." |
| Tom: | "What's it gonna do?" |
| Jim: | "It burns so hot, it could burn a hole into the ground for many feet before it cools down and stops. We'll be using the blow torch of course and..." |
| Tom: | "Aw cool! Like in the Six Million Dollar Man when he was jumping over a house and..." |
| Jim: | "Whatever you do, this time don't touch the flame!" |
| Tom: | "Wow... will cold mud stop it?" |
| Jim: | [no answer. bewildered look.] |
| Tom: | "How about hot mud?" |
| Jim: | [Ignoring] "Hey could you get me one of those crucibles?" |
| Tom: | [Leaving room and returning] "Here you go, Jim, but what does Jesus have to do with this?" |
| Jim: | "Not a crucifix you moron! One of those things there!" |
| Tom: | "Oh you mean that miniature coffee cup? That's a cool little coffee cup. Doesn't look like it would hold that much mud though." |
| Jim: | [Rolling eyes] "We can find out later. Right now I need it to mix this magnesium I've ground up with this [other multisyllabic chemical that my Dad brought home for Jim from work] and then we can burn it. It may burn a hole in the concrete floor." [We were in the basement] |
| Tom: | "Oh my God. The house will collapse! Wait! Let me get my mud... maybe I can patch the hole with it..." |
Next thing I know, Jim's putting the torch to this mixture while he has some dark glasses on and I'm staring at this thing that when it finally ignites, is like staring at the sun with magnifying glasses on your eyes. It burned long and bright. Good thing we didn't have smoke detectors in those days.
Yeah, his experiments seemed pretty cool but I got annoyed with washing my hands all the time.
I did finally move on to some bigger and better stuff; water, dirt and food coloring... but I'll save those stories for some other time.
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